It’s like this odd parallel universe where things just seem to be the way you’re used to, except everything is slightly off.
After I make it through security, being touched all over without any boots on, hoping they won’t check my ‘sandwich’ for any other substances, I feel a brief moment of relief.
So now finally I can get a smoke and some food! I slander towards the smoking patio expecting to buy some tobacco on the way; but guess what: YOU CAN’T! Well you can buy 40€ worth of cigarettes and a 100 pack of papers and filters.
One fucking little smoke for 60 bucks? That’s fine, I guess – for an airport. So I do what anyone with an unsatisfied craving would do, I get something to eat. Gnocchi with sauce – can´t go wrong there – I mean it’s pasta, for god’s sake!
After the bald, smiling creep hands me the medium hot plate saying: ‘ YUM, YUM, mmmmmh, YUM, YUM!’ I kind of start questioning my choice, also I’m becoming aware of the fact, that the place is basically empty. But well, I sit down, in a respectable distance from the creep on the counter and then - putting all my skepticism aside – I start eating…
Ok, not only am I tasting the world’s worst Gnocchi, but the most disgusting food on the planet! It’s a unique blue-cheesy taste of chewing gum and flour. Maybe I’m wrong, I think. Maybe the saliva-fueled yummy noises of the creepy dude affected my judgment in a bad way. So I try again – this time I’m sure – a 100% certain. I have to get out of here!
So in calm panic I get up and leave, fleeing to my gate, desperately hoping that boarding will start soon, while I scribble down experiences in this dullest place of places.